There is an ironic biblical parallel to the Colorado church shooting, which could be viewed as an attack on 'the body of Christ'. The arrest of Jesus (the sanctuary, and body, of all believers) was a violent attack in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matt. 26:50-54). It says that men came with swords and clubs and seized Jesus. Then one who was with Jesus drew his sword struck one of the men and cut off his ear. Jesus responded to the man by saying, "Put your sword back in its place. For all who draw the sword will die by the sword. Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?" Luke's account also has Jesus heal the ear of the man struck.
Whether you decide to accept it or not the Gospel offers an alternative understanding of our bodies. They are not the sites of fortified preservation. They are the open sites of sacrificial offering. If the church cannot function with some level of vulnerability it can offer no new message to the play of powers around us.
. . .
One other interesting aspect of this event has emerged in my mind. Senior pastor Brady Boyd (hired only in August of this summer) made the comment "That's the reality of our world. I don't think any of us grew up in churches where that was a reality, but today it is.". This struck me as odd for some reason and I decided to do a little snooping. I found out that Boyd grew up in a small town in Louisiana that is a about a 2 hour drive from Jena (site of the recent racial tension and violence). It is hard for me to believe that Boyd had no cultural memory of the numerous attacks on black churches (that I found out still has an unfortunately high occurrence) in his part of the country. The issue for Boyd remained the fortification of his fold instead opening himself to connecting with the insight and pain of his black brothers and sisters in the American south. There is a looming ambivalence towards one's neighbour that lurks in this story.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Attack on Sanctuary
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Sanctuary - Part II
There must, must be sustained commentary around the recent church shooting in Colorado. There is so much that is deeply disturbing about this issue. First and foremost in my mind is the presence of an armed security guard who killed the gunman. In one AP article this person "is hailed for saving countless lives in shooting a gunman outside her church". Her acts as saviour are recounted in several articles. This event has also fed into America's Homeland Defense Machine explored in another AP article. Here are a few excerpts.
Churches want to present an open and welcoming image, but in an era of mass-casualty shootings and terrorism threats, the violence at New Life highlights a new emphasis on security. Some of the nation's estimated 1,200 megachurches — places where more than 2,000 worshippers gather each week — have been quietly beefing up security in recent years, even using armed guards to protect the faithful.
Meanwhile, many more, often smaller congregations typically don't have detailed security plans because they don't have the money or don't want to risk turning people away.
At Potter's House, a Dallas megachurch led by star pastor T.D. Jakes, a private security company employs a team of armed, unarmed, uniformed and plainclothes guards that keep watch over crowds in the thousands. Under a new Texas law, all nonprofits must use licensed security guards, and the church hired Classic Security in response, said Sean Smith, who formerly led the church's security detail and now works for the company.
For the past three years, Potter's House has hosted a church security conference, drawing more than 400 people this year to sessions on surveillance, background checks and other issues. Although precautions can be costly, money spent on security can end up being far less than liability and lawsuit risks if no action is taken, the church says.
"You see (security) anywhere but churches," Smith said. "You see it in malls, at banks, at concerts. Somehow, at churches we feel immune to violence. But it's been proven not to be the case."
Even without a security department, churches can train volunteers to keep watch for suspicious behavior, such as a visitor dressed in a long coat in summer or not making eye contact with anyone, Smith said.
The security plan at New Life Church may seem extraordinary. The church's volunteer security force is stocked with people with military or law enforcement experience, they carry radios and weapons, and there are evacuation plan calls for hustling worshippers into "secure zones" in the case of emergencies.
I am not sure what is worse armed guards at churches or churches not having them because they don't want to turn people off. Are those the only two views? That churches are one of the only places where you don't see guards is a great opportunity to explore its unique social space but is here restricted to the idea that we are simply being naive. Where once we could perhaps look on "suspicious behaviour" as the context for witnessing to the grace offered in our faith it is now the criteria for confinement and judgment prior even to crime. And perhaps theologically most profound is the concept of moving people out of the sanctuary into "secure zones". That the space of communing with the One to whom is the "kingdom, the power and the glory" is less secure than that created by the boundaries of humans is cause for needed reflection.
Now this of course was no ordinary church under attack. This was the church founded by Ted Haggard. Hear some of the responses by church members and leaders.
"Even back then (when Haggard was pastor) we had people undercover in the congregation who were armed," Dodd said. "It was a big church at the time, it was Christian, and some people really hate that stuff.
"Not only do we have military and ex-military all over, we have this sort of frontier mentality. People around here are serious about protecting their own."
. . .
Assam, the security guard, had attended the church's early worship service at 9 a.m., then stood watch in the rotunda of as the second service was letting out.
There, she confronted the gunman, identified as 24-year-old Matthew Murray. Murray managed to two kill two sisters and wound their father and two others before he was killed. At a news conference Monday, Assam said that she prayed for the Holy Spirit to guide her, and that her hands never shook.
"It seemed like it was me, the gunman and God," Assam said.
Speaking of the church's security plan, Boyd said: "That's the reality of our world." He stressed that all armed guards are licensed and screened.
And with respect to the larger political response.
The Homeland Security Department created a grant program of nearly $50 million to improve security for religious and secular nonprofits considered at risk of terrorist attack.
Several groups have received individual grants, according to Homeland Security officials.
The Fellowship of the Woodlands megachurch in Texas employs a former FBI agent as a full-time security director, overseeing volunteers and paid staff, said pastor Kerry Shook. Those who are armed in the congregation are police officers, he said.
"It's something you just have to do today," said Shook, whose congregation draws 15,600 people per weekend. "We want everyone to feel safe. At the same time, we want to be open and accepting of everyone. An incident like this one in Colorado Springs just reinforces what the church is — we have to be a light in a dark world."
It is difficult to understand how you are being a light when you are simply producing the same reality as the culture around you unless of course you believe that your culture is the light of the world. And I do suppose this is the thinking here.
Sanctuary - Part I
A great post over at I Cite articulates what I imagine many of us are feeling, especially at this time of year. Referring to a recent shooting at an Omaha mall this news article is quoted.
"Obviously, there is a period of time for mourning, a very appropriate time," Kavanagh said. "But . . . people have a connectivity to their center."
A person's favorite mall can be the site of first jobs and first dates, and it offers familiarity and comfort, Kavanagh said.
That makes something like Wednesday's shooting even more horrific, he said.
"It's sort of an invasion of a sanctuary in some terms. It will take time for some to go back, but others will go back immediately, almost in defiance of this individual."
Some morning radio deejays this week exhorted listeners to return to Westroads to shop as soon as it reopens.
I Cite comments,
The mall as violated sanctuary, the sacrosanct temple of consumption. This strikes me as infinitely more horrific than the fact that in a country unwilling to disallow weapons people sometimes shoot each other. The comfort of the mall? It sounds like a small town, but one without incest and abuse, alcoholism and suicide, lynchings and cross-burnings. Even the mall has its obscene supplement. But the shooter isn't it; the shooter is barely a symptom. Rather, the obscene supplement, what we have to suppress even to go in, is the truth that the people who make most of the products cannot buy them, that the people who provide most of the services cannot afford them, and that, really, we don't even want them. We go because it's all we know to do; it's the only sanctuary left. All those other sites we've imagined have lost their appeal.
It is the final comment that cuts deeply in my thinking. We go because it's all we know to do; it's the only sanctuary left. There remains few social activities that are not based in some form of economic consumption. The sanctuary in the Old Testament was based in the centrality of a generative presence and I see this connected to Mall as Sanctuary at least in the basic hopes of what consumption will offer.
Friday, December 07, 2007
On Martyrs
In response to the Blogging Parson's post on martyrdom I will refer to Chris Huebner's Precarious Peace. Huebner writes that martyrdom offers a possible alternative image to the violent dance of power between victims and victors (or heroes) who both compete for security and control. He goes on to say that both the position of hero and that of victim miss "the ability to put self into question, such that the notions of culture and identity remain fundamentally closed and fixed entities."
The martyr emerges as one living outside the demands of security. This is "a life lived out of control."
This is at least partially reflected in the fact that one cannot designate oneself a martyr. Rather, to have one's identity narrated in terms of a story of martyrdom essentially involves the existence of others with whom one's life is inextricably bound up. The martyr is a figure who very identity is constituted by the memory of others. Martyrdom thus points to a conception of cluture that is not reduced to a conflict between self and other, but rather one in which self and other are interpenetrably interwoven. Among other things, martyrdom is thus the expression of a message of hope in which we are saved from the temptation to place our hope in ourselves, to confuse salvation with survival.
Huebner goes on to quote Rowan Williams in commenting how the image and reality of martyrdom release us from the imperatives of violence as it pulls us out of the drama of victimhood and heroism as both positions desire for "clear divisions between the forces of darkness and the forces of light. [Both hero and victim] want to get back to that clear frontier between insiders and outsiders which is so comprehensively unsettled by the trial of Jesus in the Gospels."
We cannot make ourselves a martyr (contrary to popular opinion) but we can position or posture ourselves in such a way that our lives are lived "out of control" questioning assumed models of relating and offering and opening ourselves up to others.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Love and Hope
Over at Faith and Theology several interesting quotes were drawn from the Pope's second and most recent encyclical letter. Here are the links to both letters.
God is Love
In Hope we are Saved
A Relational Reality
The Advent readings for this year are Isaiah 2:1-5; Matthew 24:36-44; Romans 13:11-14. In Romans Paul tells the church to 'wake up'. Attentiveness is central to the Advent season. Isaiah points to the mountain of God to which the nations will flow for wisdom and justice. The question becomes how we can shake our naiveties and illusions without buying into every conspiracy theory and fear-based message. Here is an excerpt from my sermon on the role of mental illness, neighbour and reality.
Our society carries a great untapped resource in learning how to emerge from a state of slumber and gain clarity about the world around us. For those who have personally experienced or walked along side someone who has a serious mental illness the analogy of living in a dream-like state can ring true. In many expressions of depression, schizophrenia or borderline personality disorder a person can begin to experience various forms of hallucinations in which thoughts, sights, sounds or just feelings are experienced as real even though they are not actually occurring around them. At first these experiences are often assumed to be real or true and so they are treated that way. This is why people’s actions can appear strange at times, they are responding to a different set of experiences then many of us are. In Hollywood hallucinations are depicted in the most exaggerated way. And while this may be some people’s experience it is certainly not the only one. The experience can often be very subtle and blend easily into the environment of the person. Or perhaps they are not specific and just a certain perspective or feeling about the world around them. For many of us and I would actually argue all of us reality is not simple and straightforward.
In the midst of mental illness people usually recognize that something is not right but often it is someone around them that needs to help them realize and address the space they are in. The process of discovering this, of beginning to wake up from that dream carries mixed emotions. People can be relieved to know that they are not alone in experiencing this. But on the other hand this discovery leads them to recognize that perhaps they cannot completely trust their senses. The weight of this realization should not be underestimated and is crucial for us to understand. Being awake and alert to the reality around someone experiencing this becomes a relational event. It is important for someone who has experienced hallucinations or any altered sense of reality to know that there are people around them that they can trust to discern what is happening around them.
And so Paul calls the church, the community of believers in Rome, to be roused from their slumber. I am convinced that if we desire to hear the same call then we must begin to ask ourselves how each one of us are hearing and speaking the words that will wake us up from the some the false realities that we have accepted. How can we create a space that does not dictate uniform beliefs but will remain vigilant and alert against harmful illusions? Are we willing to trust each other enough not be offended when someone is calling us out of that comfortable spot in our bed and, on the other hand, are we sufficiently humble and convicted in the words we speak to each other? Are we willing to except that we suffer from spiritual illness?
. . .
Being awake means being aware of your neighbour. St. Antony the monk once wrote, “Our life and our death is with our neighbour. If we win our neighbour, we win God. If cause our neighbour to stumble, we have sinned against Christ.”
This is similar to Isaiah’s criticism.
Now then, listen, you lover of pleasure,
lounging in your security
and saying to yourself,
'I am, and there is none besides me.'
We need to know our neighbour so that we can know Christ. If we do not listen to our neighbour we will doze off to sleep again.
So we must be humble and except that perhaps we do not see things clearly. And like someone going through a trauma or mental illness we need to learn to trust one another to keep each other awake and call us out from those places that lull us into sleep, isolation and apathy. We must learn to diagnosis or spiritual illnesses and the illusions they produce. We need to hear concerns about the increased difficulty in providing affordable housing. We need to hear those who have experienced the increasing instability of the job market. We need to listen carefully as people explain the consequences of our lifestyles and purchases. We need to ask hard questions about how our lives affect our neighbours. We will not stay awake if we live life without regard for our neighbour.
This is the basic Advent message. Pay attention as Christ comes and moves in the midst of our neighbours. This is not a message of works. We cannot solve the world’s problems. This is why Paul spent so much time talking about faith before he told them to wake up. Christ came to establish the mountain of God above all other hills and so our calling is to come down from our individual high hills and journey to the mountain of God where justice and wisdom flow. This Christmas season we will not see Christ if we remain on our high hills. We must come down and gather together first in the valley as it will lead to the mountain of God. And then gathered together there we can make way for the saviour who has come, who is present among us and who will come again. We make way for Christ in our minds and in our actions. We make way for Christ as he comes in our neighbours. This Christmas season we are called to make a place Christ in our homes and in our lives. Keep watch and stay alert in this age because Paul tells us that our salvation is nearer now then when we first believed. The night is nearly over. The day is almost here. Stay awake. Keep watch in faith and journey with your neighbour in the valley and in the storm as we travel with Christ to the mountain of God.
Amen.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
My Consumer Conscience
I am more than a little hesitant about this but in my renewed thinking being more 'socially aware' I thought that, in addition to my climate resolution I thought I would add another blog. My Consumer Conscience is a type of accountability in my economic life. It will by no means be exhaustive but I thought that perhaps it would helpful articulate some day to day spending so that I could reflect on my economic footprint. I am not sure how developed this will become or how long I will keep in up. My hesitation is that it will lead towards 'feel good' social awareness that never really touches on how things can be transformed. But here goes . . .
My Consumer Conscience
Friday, November 30, 2007
In the Darkness
The biblical tradition holds light in high regard as the place that right living will emerge. However, little emphasis is placed from where that light will come. Already in the second verse of the Bible this image is established.
Darkness was over the surface of the deep,
and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
In the Old Testament images of ‘the deep’ are often connected to the sea or ‘waters’. These two lines are connected and parallel each other. Prior to the creation of the world and even before light God is not negated or absent. Rather God exists mingled in the darkness, hovering over the chaos. We tend to think of night as the end of the day. However, in the Jewish and biblical tradition it is night that begins the day. Just as Sabbath is started at sundown in Jewish homes so in the Bible the movement of a day of creation is, “there was evening, and there was morning.” The appropriate movement of relationship to God is often one from darkness into light.
What should be reflected on is that according to the biblical witness it is only light that is created. It is darkness that existed in a primal relationship with God. Light is for our senses and our ability to live well with each other. Created light is not needed in relationship to God. Trust takes the place of senses in our ability to act and perceive. And where should we reside now that light may emerge?
Isaiah 58:6-10
Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
If there is a desire to be "a people of the light" then the context must be residing in the places of darkness and the denial or escape from it.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
My Climate Resolution
In my feeble attempt at having some realtime grasp of climate change I thought that I would start a post in which everyday (or week or something) I would post the actual, average and record highs and lows from Resolute Canada (see just above the 'UN' of Nunavut).
I decided create another blog to house this as I suddenly had flashes of charts and images that would be added later.
My Climate Resolution
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Darkness
Roughly ten years ago I had a dream in which someone said to me, "I saw the shadow of the Holy Ghost." Without going into detail of the dream this line has stuck with me since then. And what has occurred to me recently is that the most significant writers who have shaped my thinking since that time have all dwelt heavily on the image of darkness. I am thinking of Fyodor Dostoevsky, St. John of the Cross and Rowan Williams. But before them and before this dream was Johnny Cash who understood that for there to be light in the darkness you must first be present in the darkness.
I See a Darkness
(A cover of Bonnie 'Prince' Billy)
Well, you're my friend, and can you see?
Many times, we've been out drinking;
Many times we shared our thoughts.
But did you ever, ever notice, the kind of thoughts I got?
Well, you know I have a love; a love for everyone I know.
And you know I have a drive, to live I won't let go.
But can you see its opposition, comes rising up sometimes?
That its dreadful imposition, comes blacking in my mind?
And then I see a darkness,
And then I see a darkness,
And then I see a darkness,
And then I see a darkness.
Did you know how much I love you?
Its a hope that somehow you,
Can save me from this darkness.
Well, I hope that someday buddy
We have peace in our lives;
Together or apart,
Alone or with our wives,
And we can stop our whoring,
And pull the smiles inside,
And light it up forever,
And never go to sleep.
My best unbeaten brother,
This isn't all I see.
Oh no, I see a darkness.
Oh no, I see a darkness.
(Oh) no, I see a darkness.
Oh no, I see a darkness.
Did you know how much I love you?
Its a hope that somehow you,
Can save me from this darkness.
I am preaching this Sunday which is the 1st Sunday in Advent. The reading is from Romans 13,
"The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here."
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Proust, Prayer and Memory
In his classic work on Prayer Evagrius of Pontus writes,
"When you are praying the memory brings before you either fantasies of objects from the past, or recent concerns, or the face of one who has caused you hurt."
It is well known (or at least popular history) that the final years of Proust's life were spent largely in a sound proof room in Paris where he wrote at night and slept during the day. Here he completed his metanarrative À la recherche du temps perdu (In Search of Lost Time). I am in the final stages of reading the first of the seven volume literary cosmos Swann's Way.
Swann's Way is a meditation on memory and the sublime. Under Proust's pen every instant (every memory) is infinite. In his secluded final years memory dominated him as he wrestled with the faces of love and hurt in his monastic cell. And it was two faces that emerged; one was a young boy's mother in first half of the book and other being M. Swann's lover Odette in the second half.
I read both relationships as exploring the basic human sense of insufficiency. Being alone with your self stands as a terrifying prospect for most individuals. I am not referring to being by yourself but being alone with yourself; to travel inward and commune with what you encounter. This was Proust's journey and as Evagrius points out when you travel inward (typical language for the movement of prayer) you will encounter memory and you will encounter the wound that drives our compulsions. The beauty of Proust's life and work (as I limitedly understand it) is that this movement and intentional uncovering was his healing as his life reflects a solitary communion with self. What Proust offers us is a vision of how attentiveness in life (again typical language of contemplative prayer) opens the gratuitous (infinite?) reality of life. This did not come from fleeing his wound but allowing it to be a generative place in his thought.
Proust entertains only a sort of contemplative memory. As he begins to enter his childhood experience he realizes that he could indeed recall more factual memories of his life in Combray but these came through "an exercise of the will", his "intellectual memory". Here again we hear mystic imagery. St. John of the Cross distinguishes sharply between meditation and contemplation. We can do meditation but not so with contemplation. Contemplation is a state of reception. Proust speaks of 'willful' memory in this way.
"The pictures which that kind of memory shows us of the past preserve nothing of the past itself, I should never have had any wish to ponder over this residue of Combray. To me it was in reality all dead. Permanently dead? Very possibly."
Proust is interested in living memory. This is not the end of a posture of contemplative prayer but it is the path. I will post shortly exploring Proust's most famous passage on 'living memory'.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Sunday, November 04, 2007
What Will Jesus Let Me Do?
Carrying on from my renewed attention to David Bazan I thought I would offer a verse from 'Selling Advertising' in response to my recent discovery of GodTube.
I know it's hard to be original
In fact nothing scares me more
Because Jesus only lets me do
What has been done before
The path of least resistance
Ancient holy wars
The same old easy targets
Yeah, we've all been there before
It seems that respected artistic expression still drinks from the wells of historic faith but the contemporary church continues to feed off the scraps of late-modern pop-culture. Check out one of the most viewed videos, 'Jesus Muzik'.
Friday, November 02, 2007
Hold On
Neko Case - "Hold On, Hold On"
The most tender place in my heart is for strangers
I know it's unkind, but my own blood is much too dangerous
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Ministers of Death
A couple of significant events this past week.
First was being able to have this terrible picture taken of myself and Mr. David Bazan (formerly of Pedro the Lion). Does it look like I let on that I am a fan? :)
I have been listening to his music for some ten years now. Bazan's music has always represented a brave and engaged criticism of Christian religion. What sets his approach apart from more reactionary criticism is how honest he remains in his own sense of hopefulness to the spirit of faith. After the show I talked with him and asked if he kept any personal ties to the church. He said that his wife and daughter attend church but that he had 'made his exit' (adding a comment of it being a hopeful exit; I think is how he put it). Having grown up as a pastor's kid he has tried to distance himself from the institution with an attempt to suspend his received assumptions. What remains is still a sense of God's existence, which in his words has created a strong dissonance to where he thought he was going. He admits that this could simply be the result of such an entrenched world view that he received growing up. I would have liked to talk longer.
David Bazan remains for me as a type of minister of death. A minister in the truest sense (though prophet may be a more appropriate term) that his engagement with the social implications of faith and religion remain significant in his work. The role of death remains prominent in much of his lyrics whether it is physical death, the death of a relationship or the death certain beliefs. To those in the church who will listen this ministry of death injects needed perspective and the possibility of change and movement. I am hoping to invite David to read this post and offer further comment. I would love an opportunity for further engagement on his journey. In transition to the second significant event of the week here are his lyrics to "Priest and Paramedics" (see IndieVision to the right).
Paramedics brave and strong
Up before the break of dawn
Putting poker faces on
Broken bodies all day long
The neighbors heard a fight
Someone had a knife
It must have have been the wife
Husband's lost a lot of blood
He wakes up screaming, "Oh my God
Am I going to die?
Am I going to die?"
As they strapped his arms down to his sides
At times like these they'd been taught to lie
"Buddy, just calm down, you'll be all right"
Several friends came to his grave
His children were so well-behaved
As the priest got up to speak
The assembly craved relief
But he himself had given up
So instead he offered them this bitter cup
"You're going to die
We're all going to die
Could be twenty years, could be tonight
Lately I have been wondering why
We go to so much trouble
To postpone the unavoidable
And prolong the pain of being alive"
I performed my second funeral yesterday and the first on my own. I had never met the man who passed away. He was 48 and died of a heart attack in his sleep with no warning (a husband and father of two). As a minister of death who works firmly within the institutional church my work stands in some contrast to David Bazan's. I hope to make death a little more palatable that its hemorrhaging force move through the system with less resistance. I remember the words at the close of Conrad's Heart of Darkness. Marlow is trying to recount the words of judgment at Kurtz's death to Kurtz's wife. He fails in transmitting this message of death instead he says that Kurtz uttered her name at his death. Marlow says this in response to his action,
It seemed to me that the house would collapse before I could escape, that the heavens would fall on my head. But nothing happened. The heavens do not fall for such a trifle. Would they have fallen I wonder, if I had rendered Kurtz that justice which was his due? Hadn't he said he only wanted justice? But I couldn't. I could not tell her. It would have been too dark - too dark altogether . . .
David Bazan appears liberated to speak some of the dark words, but what is his community that needs to hear the dark words of faith if he remains largely unheard outside the church walls? My speech is modified within these walls and not all for bad. Some things are too crushing and need mediating, but the right mediator is crucial. I wrestle between the ministries of death. I hope to continue in both, in some way.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Wilde Stuff
My local thrift store has absolute gems when it comes to used books. The money from the store goes to a reputable non-profit agency and so they don't mind asking a little more for their books as it is going to a good cause. I had to pause when I found the complete works of Oscar Wilde in an older hardcover edition, the price was $8. It was a little rich for my blood and so in order to make a sound decision I randomly flipped open the book and came across these lines in A Woman of No Importance
Mrs. Arbuthnot: Don't kiss my hands; they are cold. My heart is cold: something has broken it.
Hester: Ah, don't say that. Hearts live by being wounded. Pleasure may turn a heart to stone, riches make it callous, but sorrow - oh sorrow, cannot break it.
Well spent.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
A Hope of Movement and a Movement of Hope
My hope is to begin making significant shifts in whatever 'free' time I have in the coming days. My reading and writing has been demonstrating too many aspects of compulsivity. What can I read that will make for clever posting? What can I write that will engage a wider audience? Daily hits are up (normally reaching double digits!) and according to Google Analytics I have hosted visitors across the globe. Though I know I should not I remain under a subtle illusion that my work here will somehow surface as 'significant' in writing something either thoughtful or provocative. There are seasons where deadlines, clear structures and clear goals stimulate helpful thought. This season is closing for myself (though I hope to experience its warm evening breezes again). I hope to move into a hibernation where I might find undemanding spaces of contemplation. Ideas, memories, pathologies must be given some room to engage each other internally as though in a highly confidential support group. Guest speakers may be allowed to visit occasionally but they will be of a different sort than the harsh pedagogues they have been co-habitating with recently.
I hope to continue to post here but I will not be anxious as daily hits begin to reflect my own visits and the few and faithful who have remained (for almost five years now!). I have been reading on and posting on the possibility of change or transformation. I hope to engage more fully in the process now. This is not to say that a forum of expression such as this cannot be a part of someone's transformation. In my case the hope of writing for recognition has demanded too much control and vanquished transformation's subtle (I did not, and would not, say weak) movement.
No matter how we articulate our positions or what our political or religious orientation we remain all too bent on conquest. We do not believe that it is possible to receive a gift, to be touched. We do not believe that there exists in life sufficient (never mind abundant) spaces where time gives of herself. Well, okay I have not believed. Time may yet be our lover but we have been all too aggressive with her.
I have experienced movement and it has given me hope for movement. Achievement and status are not our friends. They have taken their turn with time and left her vengeful on any who would take advantage again. This is all turning out very poetic as I do indeed have time early this morning where autumn colors dapple the valley of trees out my window and the morning hues of pink and blue are just beginning to gain intensity. I have time and I peace right now and for this I am thankful. I can do no more.
Friday, October 05, 2007
The Spirt/Demon of Modern Criticism and the Search for a Perfect Structure
St. John of the Cross is accredited with exploring The Dark Night of the Soul. The use of darkness in his thought represents a type of purity, a sensual finality which the senses cease to engage reality. In his prequel Ascent of Mount Carmel St. John speaks of the movement from meditating on things to the greater goal of spiritual contemplation which does engage objects of imagination. When a person enters into this movement of contemplation the experience will appear to be one of void and obscurity. There is lack of clarity in purity (at least in our experience of it). St. John offers this example to explain.
If we consider a ray of sunlight entering through a window, we see that, the more the said ray is charged with atoms and particles of matter, the more palpable, visible and bright it appears to the eye of sense; yet it is clear that the ray is in itself least pure, clear, simple and perfect at that time, since it is full of so many particles and atoms. And we likewise that, when it is purest and freest from those particles and atoms, the least palpable and the darkest does it appear to the material eye; and the purer it is, the darker and less apprehensible it appears to it. And if the ray were completely pure and free from all these atoms and particles, even from the minutest specks of dust, it would appear completely dark and invisible to the eye, since everything that could be seen would be absent from it - namely the objects of sight. For the eye would find no objects whereon to rest, since light is no proper object of vision.
This reminded me in part of my recent reading of Evagrius of Pontus. Evagrius addresses the demons that attack the soul and manifest themselves in one of the Eight Deadly Thoughts. These demons are not a homogeneous mass of bullies trying to get you to smoke up or trip some old lady. I see them perhaps not unlike the spirit of modern of criticism (give me a minute to unpack this). Modern criticism is relentless in its pursuit of exposure. If there is instability in a given structure then criticism is that tool which will expose it. This too is the swarming of demons who expose the vices of a given subject whether it is through "shameful acts" or the conceit of pride. Listen to how Evagrius describes the work of demons.
The more the soul progresses, the greater are the antagonists that follow it in succession, for I am not convinced that it is always the same demons that persist against it. They know this best who perceive the temptations with greater precision and who see the impassibility they have attained being dislodged by the successive demons.
Impassibility is one of the main goals for the monk. This would in essence reflect a "perfect structure" in which no weakness is exposed. The demons constantly work to dislodge the monk's perceived stability. Perhaps simplistically this reflects a major stream of criticism at least since Descartes. The challenge of course comes in what to do with the exposed weaknesses. I still get the sense that many theorists assume that the work of rigorous criticism is in itself the development of good theory or practice. But here criticism is insatiable and if it is satiated then this likely means that the theory has been stripped of any nutritional value. St. John and Evagrius conceive of another movement. I have normally understood impassibility in a very negative light. To be impassible is to be unfeeling, disengaged staring glassy eyed out into the void. What I am beginning to understand is that these monks do in fact believe that ultimately their bodies are perfect structures. This is not like the theorists hope that criticism will leave that which is pure. The structure rather is pure in its suitability for spirit and love. The demonic, like criticism, reveals where those movements are impeded.
Evagrius again,
Love is the offspring of impassibility, and impassibility is the blossom of the practical life.
I think I should probably end it here for now, this is all getting pretty sketchy. Hopefully something a little more coherent can follow.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Mypolitics
I will begin with the confession that must be made. I am a political mess. Never mind political theory. The prospect of participation in local and national politics always makes my skin crawl (no really it is actually doing that while I write this). Perhaps when I have more time and energy I will delve into all the environmental factors that have led to this condition. For now I will offer an anecdote.
I do try (weakly) to participate in politics reading the odd newspaper commentary or pursuing policy on party websites. On October 10th Ontario is holding its provincial election. I am a new resident of a newly configured riding with no incumbent running (and so most locals in town are of no help to me). I can't vote for a party because I am not pulling for any particular team. In the local rag I finally saw a brief profile of each candidate running (seven of them!; including candidates from the lesser known Freedom Party, Libertarian Party and the Family Coalition). As I was looking at the candidates I noticed that a number of them were quite young being in their late 20s. Then I saw the profile for Mark Cairns, the candidate for the New Democratic Party (Our "third" option for those reading outside of Canada).
I did a double take when I saw the number 20 pop up after his name. Hmmmm is that number in reference to his years in politics, no the picture does not match. It is indeed the age of the candidate running in my riding. After doing a little research I came across a link to his Myspace site.
Here I learned that my future leader's mood is optimistic. He expressed himself further in his About Me section.
I'm a punk from Kitchener Ont. I love my friends and family lots. I'm a workin class joe who wants to make the world a better place some how someday…...... I am the Kitchener/Conestoga N.D.P. candidate for the upcoming provincial election in Oct.(MAKE YOUR MARK, HOMMIES!) If you like what you see drop me a msg. and i'll get back to you.
KxWxDxP Mark
(I am not sure if he missed the xNx in Kitchener-Waterloo NDP)
His general interests are (directly copied and pasted) "chillin. skankin. partying. rockin out. pondering life."
This October Kitchener-Conestoga (Hommies included) remember Mark Cairns your NDP candidate.
